It has been over 12 years since I have seen or spoken with my oldest son. I recall the events of his birth. The long labor endured by his mother. The surprise and joy of seeing him for the first time. The need to care for and raise him above all things, just because… just because this is what a parent does.
It is wired into us, to protect and nurture our young. I know very little of what he is doing these days, but hear only via forth party channels that he is doing well. This is what we as parents hope for. That our children find their way and a path that excites them and pleases their minds, bodies and ultimately their heart, their soul. I hope that he will find all three and while I do think of him and what he may be doing these days, his life is his own and I will always love him, no matter what. This is what parents- this is what a father is for.
I am not sad anymore about this rift. As with many things that are difficult, time does truly heal all things. It is important to move forward and enjoy what life brings to us, to embrace others and explore and enjoy what they do and to be grateful for what they share with us.
It is true that connections are the one thing that we can take with us, always. They may at times seem severed or broken, but they will always exist and hold a place within us all.