English Muffins, Toasters and Forks

So I’m toasting an English Muffin, a usual situation for me in the morning on the island of Maui and well before the birds are awake. The toaster is reliable and toasts those little nooks and crannies to perfection, but when the muffin pops up from its little hell, It is just shy of a finger pull out of the narrow slots. And don’t get me started on the shallowness of those slots when I veer off course from my morning routine and try to toast Scali bread- On man! Back to this story …

So I can’t reach the little toasted treasures and I use a fork to get them out and I know, people say you should not put a fork in a toaster, but truth be told they should have clarified that you should not put a fork in a toaster while it’s toasting. The actual electric circuit is fully recessed below the reach of most kitchen utensils which is why you actually have to be in the bathtub when you drop the toaster in the water with you.

All of that being told and not necessarily part of this little toasty tale …

As I pull the muffin out of the toaster with the tip of the fork, I wonder if it will drop and fall onto the floor. Fortunately, not a one has ever fallen until this morning …

As I carefully lifted the second one from the recesses of the mechanical wonder, it did fall … and this is the good part-

It fell into the other shallow toaster slot. I mean I could not have planned this! It was like amazing! After which I had to use the fork once again, and as ill-advised by the manufacturers, moms and those not in the know about toaster design, baring my really smart uncle who most likely uses needle nose pliers and has never dropped a slice, at all-

So finally, I carefully pull the little runaway out of the toaster and into my waiting plate, where I buttered its little behind, but good. And of course, if you were wondering … coffee was ready, waiting and watching this whole ordeal from a remote countertop next to the fridge where itself had just been creamed. Wilson was speechless.

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