When a Father Becomes a Man

i hesitate to recall- when it came to be,
but one day- long ago, my Father had to leave.

thou always there for many years since- His mind,
His thoughts, perched beyond a fence.

no gate in sight, to high for flight, i watched and i watched,
as what We had- faded into the night.

still, if i think back when and think of Him, i would venture to guess,
as  i left for school, and was on my own away from home,
i lost Him then.  yes- i lost Him then.

unaware at the time, my life ever changing,
my childhood left behind, my heart left dangling-.

to busy to know.  to busy to care.  to busy to see that He was no longer there-.
He was no longer there.

and yet- it is now these years later i see,
how much he really must have meant to me.

the hurt is profound, as the need to know,
if He still loves me, as  i thought He did long ago.

and now as  i have become a Father too, i will never let,
what happen to me, happen to You.