I spent my day outside, playing with the earth and her children. There are so many living things, all vying for light and water. I find myself making choices. Some are pulled from their home and some are pruned to accommodate for another. Life is harmonious and complete and yet everything continues to compete for the light of the day and the cool of the night.
It was a great day and while my heart and will is strong they do become weary some days. Some thoughts perplex me and taunt me at times.
I am a grand father, however the children do not know me. I am a father, however my sons no longer need me, no longer know me.
It is a strange time in life where one would hope to participate in the life of their children and yet, I am unable to fathom why I am unable to do so. Perhaps I am from Mars after all and have returned to my home, far and away. While I did, once upon a time, have a family and home and children to care for, I find now that I have none. I find that I did my job, did it well and it is done.
I was a great father and provider and regardless of our sincerity, we all do find, that one day our children do grow and fly away. They want to explore the world as we have done and if so blessed, their children, will do the same in the years to come.
I am grateful for those years, with them, and while life does change, more so it would seem for myself than for another, I find a renewed awakening in all of this. I find that there is so much to life that I have not seen and have not experienced and, although I can find myself low in times of thought of what was, there is so much discover in what is.
I spend my days outside, tending to the earth and her children and I find that they welcome the company, my company, rain or shine and that in the end, nothing really matters except that I am there, we are there and shared the sun of the day,
I am no longer a tree in the forest, however my trunk is strong. My roots still drink and my branches hold birds who would land and nest. The sun still shines and the wind and rain thrill me, each and every day. There is no promise of a tomorrow, but sometimes, if we are so blessed and gifted, there it will be.